Warning: This post will go in many different places and in various directions. I’ll try to stick to the title but we’ll see how it goes…

First of all, I would like to thank Caballeros (my kababayans here in Hanoi) for the compliment they wrote in my blog today. ”Nakakataba po ng puso, maraming salamat po.”

Then it got me thinking. What is it about us that enjoys receiving positive feedback from others?

“Ask (the question) and you shall receive (the answer)”, so the good book says.

And I received the answer in my Inbox from the newsletter of the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (Obviously, a teacher’s newsletter). In their Smartbrief the other day, they linked to a recent brain research that discovered that ”There is an area of the brain that responds strongly to positive feedback: the basal ganglia, just outside the cerebral cortex.  The activity of this area of the brain does not change.  It remains active in all age groups: in adults, but also in children, both eight-year-olds and twelve-year-olds.”  (The study was really about how the brains of young children, pre-teens and adults respond differently to reward and punishment - good stuff for parents).  In another study, I found out that one of the principal chemicals of the basal ganglia is dopamine - the feel good chemical.

I just think it’s really interesting  that our brain’s ability to respond to negative feedback improves as we get older. Another thing that’s worht mentioning is that neurologically-speaking we are primarily positive feedback seekers. I’m sure the “we were born to be happy” fans are all rejoicing in this new scientific discovery.

But the critical point raised by the study was the power of feedback, negative or positive, in shaping our identities and actions. Obviously, we can’t always give positive feedback (although the study suggests that we should always try to be, when dealing with 8 and 9 year olds). So I think it’s best that we understand how we can communicate positive feedback to others.

Once again, I turn to the knowledge and wisdom of teachers to guide us. In Educational Leadership’s article this month entitled, “The Power of our Words”, Paula Denton shares

Five Guiding Principles for Positive Language

1. Be Direct

When we say what we mean and use a kind, straightforward tone, children (and adults) learn that they can trust us. They feel respected and safe, a necessary condition for developing self-discipline and taking the risks required.

2. Convey Faith in Others’ Abilities and Intentions

When our words and tone convey faith in others’ desire and ability to do well, they are more likely to live up to our expectations of them.

3. Focus on Actions, Not Abstractions

Focusing on action means pointing to the desired behavior.

4. Keep It Brief

5. Know When to Be Silent

The skillful use of silence can be just as powerful as the skillful use of words.

And now it’s time for me to be silent.

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